Drifting Through Life
by Dream Of Rose Petals
Summary: During those four months after Edward left her in the woods, Bella drifts through life, not realising what she's doing to those around her.
1. October

**Disclaimer**: I don't own Twilight Saga, Stephenie Meyer does.

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><p>October<p>

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><p>With out Edward, I felt like nothing, therefore I became nothing. As time passed on, I became like a ghost, hovering through my life, like I had died, and my spirit had lingered, not realising my time was up. Each day was the same, I would wake up, and force my breakfast down my throat, leave in my truck, to go to school, linger through the day, no different to the posters that no one looked at in the hall. For that, I was thankful. I felt like nothing more than a poster, or a potted plant, or any part of the decor. I would go home, and wait for Charlie, dinner would drag on - as the days went by, he would stop asking me about my day, because my answer was always the same lie, "Fine, Dad."<p>

Then I would go to my room, sit at my window, and wait for the sun to set. Curled up on my bed, holding a pillow like it was Edward, I would cry myself to sleep. Even in my dreams, Edward abandoned me. Each night, I would wake up screaming, begging him to come back. But, of course, Edward didn't show. Charlie would be there for me, and reassure me that everything was alright. He would stay in my room, until I fell back asleep. Some mornings, he would be asleep in the chair near my window. Others, he wouldn't be.

Even when Renee emailed me, she seemed so happy, but I just couldn't process the thought of anyone being so happy, when I felt so much pain. With each daily email, I stopped reading them, just telling her the same thing, "Everything is fine. Charlie is fine to."

At week ends, I would just stare at the woods nearby, and hope that Edward would walk from between the trees, and light up my life again. He never did.

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><p><strong>AN**: I wrote this because I was having a conversation with MusicTwilightLove and we both agreed, that Stephenie Meyer should have expanded more on those lost four months in New Moon. So, here it is! I kept the story short, because I didn't want it to be super long, and mess up the plot of New Moon. Enjoy!


	2. November

**Disclaimer**: I don't own Twilight Saga, Stephenie Meyer does.

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><p>November<p>

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><p>The weather got colder, or so I was told, but I couldn't feel a thing. I was completely numb, I couldn't feel the cold nipping at my cheeks, neither did I notice, whether a the heating was on at home or not. I would sit on the sofa, staring into nothingness. Charlie would come home, and complain that it was colder in the house, than it was outside. I didn't even respond to him anymore. It was like my own voice was abandoning me to. I started skipping a meal a day, the hunger in my stomach, for a few hours a day reminded me that I was still alive.<p>

Some nights, when I screamed of Edward, after my own dreams tortured me, Charlie seemed to take longer to come to my room to comfort me. It made me think he didn't care, like I was a burden to him. At school, I stopped speaking all together. I didn't raise my hand in class, nor did I listen when Jessica and Lauren would gossip. Or even when Angela would glance over at me. I barely saw her, it was like the world was a unreachable blurred place, just beyond my reach.

All I could see in the cafeteria, was the seats that they would have sat on, Alice and Edward were like a fading vison, possibly a trick of the mind. Just thinking of him made my heart twinge with pain. My nights were the same, I waited for the sun to set, wanting to go to sleep and never wake up. Emails from Renee became less frequent, I received one maybe once or twice a week. If that was a week, it felt like a never ending painful day.

I felt like my heart wasn't there any more, all I had was a empty space where it had once been, Edward had taken it with him, when he walked out of my life, leaving only empty hollow pain.

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><p><strong>AN**: Got to say; writing a story with no happiness in it at all is hard! I don't know how some people manage to write it so well! Well, enjoy!


	3. December

**Disclaimer**: I don't own Twilight Saga, Stephenie Meyer does.

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><p>December<p>

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><p>Once or twice, while driving, I convinced myself I saw Edward, and hit the breaks in my truck. When I saw it wasn't him, I couldn't force myself to continue driving, I hated myself, for thinking it was him. Charlie had to leave work, and drive me all the way home, to make sure I got home safely. I stopped eating all together, because the hunger pains were real and helped null the pain in my heart. The pain was still here, but I had something to focus on. My hunger was what held me to life.<p>

Each night, Charlie would just sit in the chair in my room, while I slept, so if I woke up in the night, I could see him, and it would some how soothe me. Some mornings, I would wake up to find him asleep in the chair with paperwork scattered around his feet.

When I wasn't at school, I would sleep. I didn't want to, because the dreams of stumbling around lost in the woods tortured me, but I didn't have the energy to do anything else. It was a destructive circle, I would sleep to ease the pain, the sleep would create the dreams, the dreams would cause the pain to start all over again.

I would only check my emails from Renee, once a week, because I lacked the energy to sit up at the computer, and read anything. The usual response flowed out of me, almost roboticly; "Everything is fine, Charlie is fine."

I didn't even know what was going on, at dinner, when Charlie actually managed to cook chicken, and made us a almost decent meal. I couldn't eat it, it made me feel sick, to look at food. When he handed me a gift, I didn't know what to do with it, it was like I had forgotten everything but the pain. I didn't have anything to give him back. He seemed like he didn't expect anything from me either.

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><p><strong>AN**: Not a lot I can say about this chapter. Enjoy!


	4. January

**Disclaimer**: I don't own Twilight Saga, Stephenie Meyer does.

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><p>January<p>

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><p>When nothing is all you know, nothing is all you expect. I had forgotten almost everything; how food tasted, what it was like not to feel the constant pain that consumed my heart. My heart no longer felt like it was there at all, like it was a black hole that rested where my heart should be. Life now, was a blur. There was a world for everyone else, and one just for me. Mine was filled with my pain, and the ongoing torture of the fact that I woke up each morning.<p>

I was a shell, an empty worthless shell, cast aside, and crushed by the merciless crashing waves. My pain was my anchor, and my rock. Without it, I would wither away, like a plant without water. I passed through each day, like it were one long day that blended together.

I was catapulted from my world of pain, with the sound of a thud on the table, and Charlie saying, "That's it, Bella! I'm sending you home."

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><p><strong>AN**: Well, that's it, fanfic complete. I hope you enjoyed reading it, and thank you for reading. :D


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